So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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