we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
