So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
