The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
