the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
