Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
