Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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