Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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