I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
