Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
