and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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