Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
