i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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