Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
