Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
as a side note pls kill me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
