my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
