I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
