just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
