dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
