tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
