my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
