i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
