considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
