$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
