The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You ate ashes out of my bong
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
