God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
As shirtless as possible
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
