She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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