Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
