For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
