Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
