It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
