quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
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