david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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