I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
