Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
