I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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