I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
