If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I want her autograph on my taint
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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