I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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