Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
