Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
