That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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