He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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