where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
