Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
