No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Still dying that you shit outside
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
