he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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