That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
