I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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