Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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