i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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