Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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